


stay with me, go places

by spocklee



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22221778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spocklee/pseuds/spocklee
Summary: The war ends, and a lot of other things don't.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 18
Kudos: 161





	stay with me, go places

He should feel better.

The war is over but the dead have not magically come back to life. After the celebrations are the funerals. He is organizing patrols to root out the dregs of remaining First Order, reaching out to affected planets to prevent anything from filling the vacuum of power, and while there are people he trusts to assign the work to, it still feels like too much to do and too little to keep his brain occupied. The war was a constant, desperate thing like running downhill and just trying to keep your feet under you. Peace feels like a hangover.

BB-8 rolls into the hut through the curtain of the front door; Finn’s back. If he listens, Poe can hear the hum of the Millenium Falcon landing. He tries to look back at his holopad so he can look busy. BB-8 bumps his feet and then spins back outside.

He manages to not read any of the words or diagrams in front of him for fifteen minutes before Finn runs in through the curtain, BB-8 preceding him.

“Hey! You used to greet me at the landing pad, what gives? Too busy?”

Poe looks up and tries to act mildly surprised, “You’re back! How did it go?”

“Rose did most of the work, but she says she likes having me along for support. I mean, it’s her home planet.”

Poe feels a familiar pang for Paige’s absence; she had always said _Hays Minor_ with grief layered over affection. 

Finn leans against the desk and folds his arms, “So come one, man, what’s up? I don’t get a welcome-back hug anymore?”

It’s a joke but Poe knows, not a joke. Nor is it a shy way of asking. It’s just blunt and sincere, teasing and without malice. Physical touch is pretty freely given in the Resistance, where everything else had to be rationed. In the First Order, he can’t imagine the storm troopers knew anything as familiar as a handshake. He gets up and opens his arms for a hug.

“Come on, come on. Where _is_ Rose?”

Finn slides into his embrace easily, head tucking against his, and squeezes him once before pulling back, “She went to find Kaydel and Jannah.”

“Jannah’s off on her own mission.”

“What? Since when?”

“She just left for Kamino to find a geneticist. You can still smell the exhaust.” 

Finn sighs dramatically and holds a hand out, “Okay, hold on, I gotta tell Rose–” and runs out of the hut. The curtain doesn’t even have the decency to flap around very much from his exit, and just lies limp like he was barely there at all. 

Poe falls back in the chair and stares at it anyways. 

-

He sees Rey again before he sees Finn, which–

Rey’s perfectly fine. She’s a hero! He doesn’t have a problem with Rey.

“Hey, Rey.”

She gives him a dirty look, which he would resent if his greeting wasn’t clearly half-hearted. She’s got grease on her face and is clunking at something on the Falcon, with a panel peeled off like a surgery patient. He stares into it to pretend he’s interested.

“Hey, Poe. Looking for Finn?”

“No, just stretching my legs.”

“Hm. Can you pass me that?”

She makes no indication to any kind of equipment or tool, just continues staring straight into the mess of wiring and pipes (Force, do they even make ships like that anymore?), so he hands her a plorkscrew. She takes it and then looks at it, then him. She puts it down and picks up a plasma soldering iron. 

He really likes Rey. And according to Finn, she really likes him too! Really! But something about the two of them trying to talk to each other always starts and ends with simmering irritation. He makes an effort.

“So can I help you–”

By some kind of grace, a hand comes over his shoulder and slaps him lightly on the chest. It’s Finn, behind him and appearing almost cheek to cheek as he peers over to see what Rey’s doing.

“You guys fixing the Falcon?”

Rey breaks out in a smile for Finn, “Where have you been?”

“Chasing down Rose, and then we got some exercise trying to find Kaydel.”

Rey squints at something in the Falcon, “You mean Captain Connix.”

Finn steps out from behind Poe to bow, but moves his hand from his chest to his shoulder, “Ah, of course, Jedi Master Rey.”

Rey breaks into a goofy, bashful smile, leaving Poe feeling like a monster in comparison to Finn’s effect on her. Finn squeezes his shoulder.

“Hey, General Dameron, what are you doing right now? I’m starving.”

“I was just taking a break, but yeah, I could eat–”

Finn pats his shoulder, and then bounces backwards on his feet in a way that’s becoming too familiar, “Oh, let me get Rose before she runs off again. I still can’t believe Jannah left, I would have gone–”

And he’s off, jogging through the camp as the light starts to fade.

Poe turns back to Rey, who’s already frowning again at the ship innards. 

“Have you tried using the Force?”

Without humor, she reaches a hand in under the pipes, “That’s not how the Force works.”

“Oh.”

She visibly concentrates, and does something which he suspects is Force-related. He leans down next to her.

“So did it work?”

She sighs and it sounds like a piece of metal very deep in the ship falls, “Why don’t you just follow him?”

“What?”

“Finn?”

“Why would I follow him?”

“Because, you know–” she sticks her head into the mess of wires completely, which kind of worries him, and mumbles something.

“What?”

“Uh,” she actually sounds embarrassed, ”You know. You like him.”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

-

He likes Finn, which the war ending had also not fixed. He had pictured it almost selfishly, in guilty moments, like finding a corner to hide and eat little pieces of chocolate or alcohol: the war would end, a miracle, and they would both live– a laughable attack on statistics. They would embrace, Poe would look into Finn’s eyes, Finn would hold Poe’s face in his hands–

“Poe!”

Rose is running towards him. Where’s Finn? Don’t they have comms for this kind of thing? The point is, he didn’t use the adrenaline and joy of the war ending to tell Finn he wanted to kiss him and all the assorted implications. He got sucked into an ambitious party, and then after one drink fell asleep for almost two days. 

Rose looks tired, which makes sense. It’s not her first visit back to Hays Minor, but it can’t be easy to go without her sister. Poe feels a slump of sympathy and wishes he could send three Finns with her, for as long as she wanted. And a few Reys and a Poe for good measure.

“Hey, Rose. Finn went to get you, are you coming to eat with us?”

“Yeah, I just,” she yawns, and he thinks he hears her jaw crack, “I’m so tired.”

“You eat anything on the ship?”

“It’s not a big deal–” she stumbles a bit, “Oh. Uh. Wait. No, I didn’t.”

“Lightheaded?”

“Maybe I should eat.”

“You’ll sleep better. Here, we can walk together. Finn will figure out where we are.”

“Thanks,” she does seem like she’s about to fall asleep on her feet. 

He nods discreetly to BB-8, who begins to run around in circles like a beacon for her to follow, beeping and whistling in staggers towards the mess hall built within some cargo containers. Rose’s smile fades quietly.

“How did it go?”

She shrugs, eyes still fixed on BB-8 in her exhaustion, but he can tell her mind is still trying to run over a million things, “It’s going better. I mean, anything’s better than the way it was, you know?”

“Yeah,” privately he disagrees, but won’t voice what he knows she knows; it would be better with Paige and their parents still alive. 

-

Once they sit down with a clear view of the door, already framing a portal of night outside the active mess hall, Poe bends down and asks if BB-8 could find Finn for him. A few minutes later, Finn runs in, scans the hall, and notices them brightly.

“Poe! Rose! Good, you guys are already here!”

“Yeah, buddy, where did you end up going?”

“I was looking for Chewie, but he said he’s going to go on a walk. Hey, where’s BB-8?”

“Finn, please just sit down. Tomorrow I need both of you to see me so we can hand out personal comms.”

Finn turns to Rose, who is looking back and forth in their conversation with a polite drowsiness, and says with mock-disappointment, “He doesn’t remember.”

“I don’t remember what?”

“You had this conversation with us last week. And we remembered that we don’t have any spare hand comms. You gotta get more sleep, man.”

He’s frustrated and can tell Finn is teasing him, and despite that he’s just endeared. Everyone’s so tired or spread thin that when he screws up or forgets something, the annoyance with himself or someone else just bounces around until everyone’s more tired or more annoyed. Finn just deadpan tells him he’s getting old like he’s trying not to laugh, or puts a hand on his shoulder and says _when was the last time you slept?_ with a layer of real concern hidden underneath, or rubs his shoulders or rolls his eyes but not in a mean way before fixing whatever the problem is. If there’s a slip up, Finn just rolls with it, and suddenly it’s not such a big deal if they don’t have enough hand comms or if they forgot to refuel the supply convoy and have to siphon fuel out of an X-wing. 

Poe hums on the edge of a growl at the ceiling, a little too long and loud, and winks at Finn to let him know that he’s not actually mad. Finn smiles. BB-8 rolls back into the dining hall and Finn throws an arm out to greet it, but BB-8 is muddy and actually mad. Rose’s looks content, leaning her head in her hand, and might be asleep.

-

The next morning, someone shakes him awake, and his throat is hot with panic for a moment until he hears a familiar, “Poe!”

His eyes focus, and Finn is crouched down next to Poe’s cot on one knee, with a pack over his shoulder, hands bracing on Poe’s arms. Without thinking, Poe reaches out to put a hand on Finn, thumb close to rubbing his neck. Poe’s eyes relax on the strap of the pack, resigning himself to what it means. 

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” he looks at Finn’s eyes but it’s a little too much and goes back to the shoulder strap, “Where are you heading now?”

“Bespin.”

Poe sits up straight, “What?”

“Jannah’s back. The scientist from Kamino agreed to come back with her, but Lando said they should split up so the scientist doesn’t know the location of our base,” Finn shrugs, “You know, just in case. Lando went ahead to Bespin with the geneticist, and Jannah came here to pick me up.”

“Why Bespin?” _Why do you have to go already?_

Finn grimaces, “Jannah went to Kamino because… They have the best geneticists. They don’t make clones anymore but…”

Poe reaches out a hand to massage Finn’s elbow, wishing the hurt in this conversation could have more time to heal, “Is it about the storm troopers?”

Finn’s eyes are shiny when he turns them back up from the floor to Poe, and it really is hard to take first thing in the morning but he can’t just look away now, “Lando suggested it. The Kaminoans are our best bet for finding out where all the troopers came from.”

That little selfish secret-corner-chocolate part of Poe thinks, _You might need the DNA of everyone in the galaxy to do that, and some of those parents might not be around anymore to give any DNA,_ and an even more childish part of him wants to say, _You already have a family, we’re a family._ But that isn’t fair. Instead he claps a hand around the back of Finn’s neck and rubs his thumb under his ear. He gives his best general _go-get-em_ smirk. 

“Good luck.”

Finn’s chin twitches and he blinks too much, but he bites his lip and smiles back, his eyes scan Poe’s in a strange side to side way like he’s looking for something else, and then he gets up and heads to the door. With the curtain held aside, dawn isn’t even pink outside but still a foggy grey blue. Poe twists his legs under his blanket to call out to the door–

“And see me as soon as you get back!”

Finn turns and winks at him before letting the curtain fall back into place. Poe lies back down and grumbles at the ceiling when he’s certain he’s far enough away.

“I miss you.”

-

-

-

“Finn!”

Jannah is at the controls with Chewbacca, who turns and gives Finn and over his shoulder. 

“Hey, Chewie, you getting shorter?” 

Chewie growls back with no spirit, a common occurrence that’s been worrying Finn when he can’t sleep at night. Jannah shoots him a glance that tells him she’s noticed too.

“Jannah, you sure you don’t want to hop out and get a walk around camp?”

“Nah, let’s go! I’m too excited!”

“Oh, we’re gonna solve everything as soon as we get there, huh?”

“Ah, come on, aren’t you excited too?” 

He wants to be. Everything’s been moving too fast and not fast enough, and he can’t quite bring himself to put too much stock in any outcome. Jannah has never seemed to miss a beat in hope though, and she seems happier out in the world getting things done than sitting on her hands. Finn wonders if the monotony of things always changing will ever catch up to her or if she’ll never tire of following every possibility wherever it goes.

He sits in the backseat and looks out the window at the wall of old-forest trees that have been the most constant home he’s had, and says truthfully, “Yeah, of course I am.”

-

Lando greets them warmly but only opens his arms for a hug he insists on from Chewie, and then wraps himself back up in his fur-lined cape. Finn doesn’t find Bespin very cold, but Lando has more years on his face and it can make a difference. It makes him wonder how old Chewie is under all that fur, which goes from sympathetic to unsettling when he imagines him completely shaved. He pushes it out of his head quickly out of respect.

They meet inside the capital building, where Lando is bowed to by everyone over a certain age. Anyone younger is quietly scolded by senior staff for asking under their breath _who is that?_

“You used to live here, right?” Jannah asks politely.

Chewie roars something and Lando laughs, “Yeah. I used to work here.”

Finn resists elbowing him, “You get fired?”

“I’ll have you know I quit. Well, I like to think I did. I was busy helping Luke escape from Vader.”

Finn and Jannah give out an equally awed, “What?”

Chewie growls again and Lando shuffles his cape up to his neck even though the building is decently heated for anyone, “I might have invited Vader over in the first place, but hey, it’s who you help last that counts, right?”

Chewie actually does elbow Lando for that, but it’s gentle and Lando laughs again. 

The scientist is waiting in a white, empty dining room. He’s looking out a circular window and turns to the door when they enter. The door seems to have been locked. Lando gestures to the table and sits down himself.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” and he sounds sincere, “These are the two former stormtroopers I was telling you about. I want you to start with them first.”

“I don’t have any of my materials with me, unless you have a lab–”

“I know, I know. It’s not something we can just do over dinner. But I wanted you to meet them. I want to make sure you understand how important this is. How many lives you can change. You and anyone who wants to join you.”

The scientist looks miserably at the place setting in front of them. Lando continues.

“I know that we haven’t been very forthcoming with you and I hope you understand why. Kamino has connections with some powers that we do not want to give any help to, especially now that the First Order’s left a seat open. It would be devastating to win the war only for us to be wiped out by the mobsters.” 

“I understand that, but–” the scientist chances to look up at that moment and his eyes search Finn and Jannah’s faces, distracted, before looking back to Lando, “My people do not have a lot of money, since the fall of the Republic. Yes, our loyalties have been to unsavory characters and I do not blame them. I’m not sure who will join me.”

Lando leans back in his chair and folds his hands over his chest, and something about the gesture makes Finn see backwards in time, to a young scoundrel holding a hand of cards that, bluff or not, he trusted would win. 

“If it’s so risky then why did you agree to work with us?”

The scientist’s eyes go sharp and Finn understands something that Lando has known a long time, the opposite of pessimism, the cousin of hope, as the scientist says, “Because I have to. Because this is the only thing I have ever _had_ to do.”

“And do you think, of all the people on Kamino, of all the scientists in the galaxy, that you are the only person who feels that way?”

The scientist hangs his head. The answer is obvious. 

Lando and him talk for a little longer on agreements, plans, requirements, and then the scientist gets up and walks around the table to Jannah and Finn.

“I’m sorry. I should have introduced myself. It’s good to meet you.”

-

Lando chooses to stay in Bespin to oversee the project. He walks them back to the Falcon, gives Chewie a hug, shakes Jannah and Finn’s hands, and then Jannah pauses on the ramp up and turns back around.

“General–”

“I’m no general anymore. You can call me Lando.”

She frowns, but says, “Lando… How can you still have faith?”

Finn understands exactly what she means but is also surprised to hear the doubt in her voice. Jannah has been cheerful and determined every day, every minute he’s seen her. Suddenly he’s aware he’s been naive; of course Jannah has been hopeful in company and worried in private. It’s exactly what he’s been doing.

Lando wilts just a little. He looks older, standing alone on the platform, again huddled in his cape.

“I’ve lived through two wars. I’ve seen the Republic fall, the Empire fall, the First Order.”

Jannah takes a step towards him, “Exactly. With everything you’ve seen, how can you still believe…”

She can’t finish, and Lando smiles, “That another group of genocidal freaks won’t try to take over?”

They all stand in silence. Even Chewie rumbles softly. 

“Listen. I’ve seen two wars. I’ve seen the rebellion and the resistance. People with almost no supplies and no chance, clinging to any kind of intel or help they can get that might change things. No hope. And they still tried. Not because they thought it would fix everything forever, but because it’s worth doing now. So I can’t not have faith.”

Finn raises his eyebrows and tries to beat the punchline, “In the Force?”

“In people.”

He puts two fingers to his temple and salutes them goodbye. And he waits for the ramp to close before heading back inside.

-

Chewie is monitoring the cruise controls, having turned down the invitation to play dejarik. Finn glares at the board looking for some kind of brilliant strategy and is surprised to hear Jannah sound serious.

“I think Chewie is gonna go home soon.”

“What?”

“I overheard him and Lando talking about it… Well, at least I think so. I don’t speak Wookie but just from what Lando was saying… He’s going to go back to his planet. He has a family there.”

_A different family._ A family still alive. They both contemplate the board somberly.

“I’ll miss him.”

“Yeah. I mean, I barely know him but he’s been really helpful with all this stuff. Even though he’s probably been… really lonely.”

It’s sad to admit. Han, Luke, Leia. Even Ben, who’s been dead for a long time, who Chewie had probably held gently in his arms as a baby. Lando, C3PO, and R2D2 are still alive but the grief is still grief. The survivors of the old war only remind each other of who’s missing. 

“Do you think Chewie would like if we hugged him?”

“I think he’d hate it,” Jannah already knows the wookie pretty well.

Finn is willing to bet he knows Chewie just a little bit better, "But maybe he wouldn't."

-

Back at camp, Jannah says goodnight and sounds distracted, and Finn calls her back.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

He remembers how she was when they originally left for Bespin, and grins at her, “It’s exciting, right?”

She looks at him blankly, and then he can see that she knows what he’s trying to do. Still, she smiles back.

“Yeah. It’s really exciting.”

It is. He can’t deny that there are still reasons for joy. She hugs him and then leaves without that scared look on her face, and there’s a reason right there. 

He goes to find Poe. A second reason. At the curtain he pauses, never sure how to knock. Usually he would throw it open without thinking, but if he deliberates for even a second he starts to overthink; what if he’s changing? What if he’s busy? What if he wants to be alone? What if he has someone in there with him–

“Whose feet are out there?”

It’s Poe. Finn answers, weirdly nervous, through the closed curtain.

“It’s Finn.”

“General Finn!” And suddenly the curtain’s thrown open, and as always there’s the warm lift of happiness just at seeing Poe, “What are you doing standing around? Come inside.”

There’s the happiness of seeing Poe unexpectedly. Waiting to see Poe and then seeing him. Seeing him from far away talking to other people, seeing him up close and meeting his eyes. Poe brooding, Poe playful, Poe annoyed, Poe content. Every happiness a different shade of verdant, living color. Even arguing with him– Finn would not call it a happiness, but there is a tugging, serious pain to it that he thinks is the other side of the coin of a feeling this deep. 

Finn comes inside. The hut is the same as usual; sparse, but the signs of being lived in. Poe leaves the camp less often than almost anyone else. He has to be grounding in the Leia was, in the way a hotshot pilot is not. The wrinkled blankets, the clay cup on the table with sedimentary stains of coffee inside. Several holopads, of varying updates and versions based on whatever they could get at the time. It reminds Finn he comes bearing gifts.

Poe sits on the bed and watches him patiently as Finn flips his bag off his back and to his chest to rifle through it. He pulls out a lumpy brown sack tied with drawstring and tosses it to Poe, who catches it deftly but with curiosity.

“From Bespin. Lando asked and they had some lying around.”

Poe opens the drawstring and pours one of the hand comms into his palm, “Of course.”

He frowns suddenly, and looks up, “These were surplus, right? I don’t want to take if it they need it, Bespin has its own restructuring agenda and–”

“Relax. It’s not a big deal. Don’t act like you’re not pleased.”

Poe considers the hand comm, adjusts the frequency, and then tosses it back to Finn. 

Finn catches it and then hears the feedback buzz from his hand, “General Finn, come in.”

He looks up to see Poe grinning, holding another hand comm up to his face. Finn speaks into his own.

“General Dameron, loud and clear. Over.”

They both beam at each other, and it’s like a silly little victory over something. Poe puts the hand comm on the desk and stands up to give Finn a hug. They pull apart and Poe’s hand lingers from his shoulders, fingers brushing over his jacket briefly, before resting back at his side.

“How did it go?”

“I didn’t do anything. Lando did most of the work.”

“I think you do more than you think.”

“Buddy, I didn’t even have to talk. It’s really not anything.”

Poe crosses his arms and appraises him.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just, Rose likes having you along. Jannah likes having you along. Lando, Chewie, Rey– You don’t notice the difference?”

“What difference?”

“The difference between when you’re there and when you’re not. You help people. You make all of this easier. Just by being you. You’re a good friend, Finn.”

Finn knows his eyes are watering and he turns his head away and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, well, I just got here, you don’t have to embarrass me when I haven’t even had dinner.”

Poe claps a hand on his shoulder, the pouch of hand comms slung over his back, “Then come on. We can pass these things out and you and Jannah can give me the details.”

-

On the way back from the mess hall, the three of them see Rey and Rose meandering around the outskirts of camp, Rose with a bundle of cloth in her arms and a toolbox at her feet, Rey crouched with her hand on the ground. Rose sees them and waves.

“Hey! We’re looking for a place to put this hammock I found! Come help!”

It’s a confusing amount of ceremony for a hammock, but it becomes clear when they get close enough. It’s not just a scratchy quarters hammock ripped out of where it was nailed down in a ship. Cradled in Roses’s arms is a genuine piece of cloth meant to relax in, probably thrown in a box of donated scrap cloth meant for patchings or emergency weather. 

Rey stands up from where she’s focused on the ground and puts her hand on a tree, eyes closed. She opens them with a slight recoil. 

“Not this one.”

Rose sighs, “We’ll never find any at this rate. Come on, Rey, does it really matter?”

“The trees are already affected by all the ship exhaust and heat. The animals avoid camp because of the noise so the pests have been free to weaken the trees without predation.”

“There’s also too much ladder fuel,” Everyone turns to Jannah, who folds her arms, “What? Less animals, less herbivory. We should really clear some of these lower branches on an off day. Not great to have a bunch of dry, low wood near our jets or blasters.”

Rose discreetly shoots a weary look at Finn, but perks herself up, “Alright, so lets find some healthy trees. We can split up! Oh, except–”

Poe holds up the bag of hand comms, “I’m way ahead of you.”

-

The forest is beautiful, but there’s still an itch on the back of his neck that tells him to walk quietly and keep his head down. How long until his body recognizes peace?

Poe walks next to him, and that raises another kind of itch. His fingers clench and unclench softly and he feels very aware of how far or close their arms are to each other. The deep silence of the forest is broken when radio static and feedback makes him jump.

“General Finn, come in.”

Finn stops searching the cracks in the canopy for Star Destroyers to see Poe, straight-faced, holding the hand comm up to his mouth again.

“I already regret getting you those. You know you’ll never find that again if I just throw it into the bushes, right?”

Another buzz, “General Finn, please use your hand comm to complain to me about your hand comm. Over.”

Finn shakes his head and grins at some ivy instead, “I hate you.”

There’s no buzz this time, “No you don’t.”

They walk for a bit more before Finn remembers they’re supposed to be looking for trees.

“Hey, those two look alright, right?”

“Yeah. Not really sure how we’re gonna decide if they’re healthy enough or not. I guess we’re far enough from camp that– Finn?”

Finn walks up to the trees. Poe’s right. They seem healthy; green, dark wood, tall, wide. But so had the tree that Rey had said was already weakened. She had put her hand on the bark–

“Finn?”

He puts his palm gently over it, barely hard enough to leave an almost invisible imprint on his skin if he were to pull it away. He closes his eyes, and tries to think of what Rey would do. Strangely, it’s Han Solo’s voice in his head, sarcastic but guiding, _Well, I don’t know, kid, put your energy in it. Think about what it would be like to be a tree._

It turns into Leia, raspy and firm, _Imagine every time you breathe out that you’re building a connection further and further into the tree. It might take awhile but there’s no rush._

A voice he doesn’t even recognize, _It’s strange until it isn’t. And then it makes more sense than anything else._

Finn feels the pulse of his palm, and feels it inside the tree, as if his nerves extend into it. Not invasive, but empathetic. The connection climbs all the way to the top of the tree, and suddenly he’s high up at the peak of the branches, and–

“Finn?”

He opens his eyes, “Not this one.”

Poe raises his eyebrows and tries to look up to the top of it, “Not healthy?”

“No. It’s fine. But there’s a roc nest at the top.” 

“A whole roc is up there?”

“I mean, it’s shaped like one. Like a small one. A bird, man, I don’t know.”

Something clicks in Poe’s eyes and he looks back to Finn and says quietly, “How do you know that?”

Finn tries not to look away as if he’s guilty. The forest is no help around them, and no creature jumps out to distract them and change the subject. There’s only a bird cry somewhere above them.

“Poe… There’s something I wanted to tell you.”

Poe blinks, and looks young. He waits and Finn has to inhale.

“During the last battle, I… I got a feeling.”

“A feeling feeling or a… You know,” Poe waves enigmatically at the sky and the tree for good measure.

“A feeling like I knew something even though it didn’t make sense that I knew it.”

“A no-targeting-computer feeling.”

Finn remembers the story from the mess hall, all the pilots begging Wedge Antilles to talk about Luke’s run on the first Death Star, “A no-targeting-computer feeling.”

Poe takes a deep breath and puts his hands on his hips and starts nodding and humming at all the trees, then turns around and sits on a rock. He rubs his hands up and down his face.

“Okay. Cool. Very cool.”

“How are you taking this? Is this freaking you out?”

“Uh, a little. It’s a little freak out. I can handle this.”

Finn stands and reaches an arm out but puts it down again. He’s not sure what to do with a stressed Poe, not when the reason he's stressed is because of him. Poe puts his knuckles to his lips in thought.

“You have to get training. Right? Rey has to train you.”

“Yeah.”

Poe clasps his hands in front of him, elbows resting on his knees, and doubletakes at Finn’s expression. He smiles, small but believable.

“Hey. I’m fine, okay? It’s just a lot to think about. And I’m jealous, you know?”

“Maybe you’re also force-sensitive–”

“Not that, I mean, of Rey. I never see you already and now you’re gonna be off,” he waves a hand, “lifting rocks in a swamp or getting a lightsaber or whatever. She’ll probably take BB-8 too.”

“She likes you, I promise. Maybe you could come with us. Keep an eye out for us.”

“Oh, maybe, if I’m a good General and finish everything here,” and the tone is bitter and then normal, “Have you told her?”

“Not yet. I’m nervous, because you’re right. She’s going to want to start training right away, and I’m… I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. After everything that happened with the last Jedi school.”

“Wait. Have you told anyone yet?”

“Just you.”

Poe doesn’t look proud or pleased about that, and just seems concerned when he quietly says, “I think you should tell Rey. She can help you with this.”

The _And I can’t_ is implied. The silence is uncomfortable. Poe stands up and bites his lip before saying in a less grave tone, “I’m pretty sure I’m not. But can you show me what you did?”

“Yeah, come over here, right there. And just put your hand on it.”

“Here?”

“Wherever seems good.”

“Like, nipple height?”

“Poe.”

“Okay, okay. And then I close my eyes, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I did.”

“And I have to look really serious.”

Finn leans against the tree and smirks at him, but also takes the opportunity to stare at Poe while his eyes are closed. He can feel his expression going shamelessly soft as Poe furrows his brows and purses his lips in exaggeration.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Poe holds the expression for ten seconds before breaking, but his eyes stay closed and his hand stays on the trunk, “Hey, what is this supposed to feel like?”

“Like um,” Finn closes his own eyes, “Like, there’s no difference between you and the tree. Or there is, but the energy is the same. The life is the same. So it’s no big deal to just feel it and let it feel you back. Because even if another thing means you harm, the energy we all have is this totally separate thing.”

“Oh, no big deal huh?” Poe’s voice is teasing but sweet. 

Finn leans his head against the bark and can’t tell if he’s imagining feeling that connection again, “Yeah. You can feel the tree without harming it. And vice versa. Like suddenly it’s another arm or something.

Poe hums again. Finn feels almost sleepy.

“It’s pretty nice. I get why Rey was so weird about us putting the hammock up now. It’d be hard to feel something like that and not have sympathy, even if it’s for one tree in a forest,” he feels something different in the tree this time, an energy almost warmer in color and grittier, more electric, “Hold on, there’s something–”

“Whoa!”

Finn opens his eyes. Poe’s backed away from the tree, inspecting his palm. 

“What? You okay? Wait, did you feel it?”

Poe turns his hand around, then lowers it still looking puzzled, “I don’t think I felt the tree, but uh, I think I felt you.”

“What?”

“It’s kind of what you said. Kind of like I got a knock on the door and opened it. But it was you, this feeling like–” Poe swallows and shakes his head.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Finn, don’t worry about it,” Poe laughs a little, “I mean, it was more like I could kind of feel it was you and without even thinking I just threw the door open. No knock. I just. It wasn’t a bad thing.”

“Good. Still, I would have warned you if I knew that could happen.”

“Did you feel me?”

“I think so.”

Poe searches his face in a way that makes the back of his neck hot, and steps closer slowly, “Finn. I didn’t want to say anything during the war. Or, I couldn’t, but, you know that I–”

“Guys!”

There’s a call from the direction of camp. Rey and Jannah are waving.

“We found some trees!”

Poe mutters something under his breath but walks towards them, and Finn stays stunned for a little bit more before following.

-

-

-

Finn wakes him up one night.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” the shoulder strap, “You heading out again?”

“Yeah,” but instead of walking out of the hut, Finn sits on the edge of Poe’s cot, “Are you awake?”

“Yeah, of course I’m awake,” just having Finn for a few more minutes, close, the weight of him pulling down the mattress and providing some kind of physical proof he’s really this close, makes Poe warm.

“No, I mean. Really awake. I want you to be really awake for what I’m gonna say.”

Poe sits up as his stomach plummets, “Wait, you’re coming back, right?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Finn… What’s going on?”

“I’m going to train with Rey. To understand the Force.”

“Oh.”

It’s cold with the blanket thrown off. The night is humid and humming, clicking, whistling with the sounds of bugs and nocturnal creatures calling out to each other. BB-8 is charging in the corner, covered in a spare piece of canvas cloth to keep from getting bothered by curious animals or moisture. It glows orange, off and on like the rhythm of a snore.

“Poe?”

“So you’re going to be a jedi,” he sighs out a smile, “Congratulations.”

“No. I already told Rey that I don’t think I can.”

“What?”

“Rey said not even she thinks she can be a jedi. Luke… I don’t think there will ever be any more jedi. Not if it’s up to me or Rey to carry on the teachings. We wouldn’t know how.”

“Rey didn’t learn them with Skywalker?”

Finn shakes his head, “It’s not that. It’s… A jedi can’t have attachments.”

“Oh. Like friends?”

“Yes, like friends… Why is this conversation not going the way I thought it would?”

“How did you think it would go?” Poe’s voice slips into teasing, and his thoughts slip into going a step too far and inviting Finn to crawl under the covers if the conversation’s gonna be long, and hey, why does he have to leave in the middle of the night anyways? 

“I thought I would have already told you that… Why I can’t be a jedi. The first thing I thought of. Even if being a jedi meant I could be powerful and amazing and… and helpful, you know?”

“You already are those things, Finn. You don’t need to be anything you don’t want to be. Not again.”

Finn, staring at the corner of the hut, turns and gives him almost a scornful look when he says, “I’m in love with you.”

Then he turns back to look at the corner, and scoffs as if it’s all a bit stupid.

Poe’s first instinct is to reply to the tone and not the words, and he gets halfway through saying, “You say that like it’s my fault–” before he stops and shivers so hard his shoulders shake uncontrollably. 

Finn sees him out of the corner of his eye and at least it makes him smile, even if it fades as he stares down at the floor. Poe can’t process any of the thoughts cycling through his head but the grin on his own face gets bigger and bigger. He feels so warm that he throws the blanket off his legs. 

“I–” he starts laughing, and has to put his face in his hands, to hide an embarrassment he doesn’t really feel.

When he pulls his hands away, he sees that Finn is closed off, still staring at the floor. Poe realizes that maybe none of this counts as a clear reply.

“Finn. Finn. Look at me.”

He does. Poe feels lightheaded, and laughs again.

“You’re in love with me?”

Finn looks so vulnerable and almost ashamed, as if he’s being laughed at, that the laughter drains out of Poe and he grabs Finn’s hands so that they’re facing each other on the bed. His voice surprises him when he hears it; he sounds like he’s begging.

“Finn, I’m in love with you. Everyone knows it.”

“You are?”

“I–” He feels the giddy laughter rush back in like a tide, but there are tears in his eyes now, and he holds up their clasped hands to rest his forehead against Finn’s knuckles as he composes himself, “I love you. I thought you could tell. I thought maybe–”

“The Force?”

“The Force, the way I look at you, the way I’m always wandering around hoping I’ll run into you, the way you’re the person I like most, the way I’m kind of a dick to everyone but you–”

“You’re not a dick!”

Poe laughs and then lifts his head to press his mouth to the back of Finn’s hand, less a kiss and more of a safe place to think about everything going on. They’re safe. The war is over. It’s not even that cold of a night. And–

“Wait. When are you leaving?”

“Tonight. I wanted to see you right before I left. In case–”

“In case I didn’t completely fall apart into a goofy mess when you told me you love me, and you could escape halfway across the galaxy? I only say that because I've almost had the same exact plan. Finn, how am I gonna be general without you around and knowing that you love me? I’m useless. You really ruined my life, you know?”

Finn smiles shyly, and Poe doesn’t want Finn to be shy or hesitant or worried about any of this, and kisses his knuckles in earnest. 

“You really saved me.”

“Poe–”

“Don’t say you have to go _right_ now, or I really will make you feel so guilty you’ll have to stay.”

Finn’s ticklish as Poe turns his hand to kiss the underside of his wrist and up his arm, and makes no effort to pull away, “I really should leave soon.”

“Is Rey waiting?”

“Yeah.” 

Poe feels a slight jump as he kisses the pulse over Finn’s elbow, and he looks up, “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

“Is it okay if Rey waits a little longer? Since she gets you for a few months?”

“When you put it like that, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“And is it okay if I kiss you?”

Finn, thankfully, does not waste time to point out that technically Poe is already kissing him, and simply says, “Yes,” before Poe swoops up from his arm and cradles Finn’s cheek in one palm.

Finn melts into him, and just as Poe is struck bashful, a flush of doubts, is when Finn smiles against his mouth and presses into him. He cups Poe’s face and the physicality, the undeniability of it all is so much that Poe just lets go and falls back against the mattress. The trick is that it pulls Finn down with him, who moves to his jaw, his neck.

“You really wear this collar open to kill me, don’t you?” He murmurs against his clavicle.

“I thought maybe if I just kept unbuttoning it you’d have no choice but to passionately make love to me,” Poe gasps a little, “I can’t believe I just said that, but also it doesn’t seem so ridiculous now.”

Finn sighs against his sternum; the backpack strap is still over his arm, where it’s fallen from his shoulder. Poe thinks if he leaves now that he’ll never be able to fall asleep, and will become an insomniac ghost wandering the base until he returns. 

“Please, Finn.”

Finn understands him and pulls the strap off his arm without even looking at away from Poe’s chest, where he only begins to unbutton the shirt further. 

“Thank you,” Poe breathes out, at Finn, at the ceiling, at the Force, at the night for cooling down the fever on his skin, at every stupid little thing that works out when so many things don’t, “Thank you, thank you.”

“You’re not just going through a dry spell, right?”

“I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or actually worried.”

“You just sound a little too grateful to get some.”

“You’re already teasing me and I haven’t even gotten _this._ Do you know how busy I am? And by the way, uh, General–”

“Oh, is that gonna be a thing–”

“Please don’t wear your boots in bed.”

“Oh, of course, general.”

“Thank you, general.”

They burst into laughter like kids, Finn pressing his shaking forehead up against his chest before kicking off his shoes and putting one knee on either side of Poe so he can lean down and kiss him on the mouth again. 

-

-

-

Rey is asleep on the Falcon when he gets aboard, and pushes herself up with a yawn.

“Oh, you’re back. Good morning.”

“I’m sorry about–”

“I figured. I went to bed as soon as you left.”

“Oh.”

“It was pretty obvious what was gonna happen.”

“The Force?”

“Something like that,” she gets up and stretches, “And then again, nothing like that at all.”

Finn thinks about Poe being eager, clumsy, loose, sweet, the little pauses before he did anything as if he wasn’t always as confident as he acted, as if there were things he couldn’t bring himself to be impulsive about. His hands, the way they had to be quiet because there was no door and they kept giggling with frantic palms reaching to cover each other’s mouths, how silly and difficult and easy it still managed to be. Something new with someone familiar. 

Poe asleep, his arm under his head and the other stretched out and reaching for Finn as he got up at daybreak, eyes still closed and groaning out a whine.

“No. Stay.”

“I have to go.”

“No, just another few years. Then you can go.”

Finn had reached down and kissed the temple that wasn’t pressed into a pillow, and for a moment he felt what he felt back in the forest with both their hands on the tree.

He imagined it the way Poe described it; not a breach but an invitation. Poe leaning out a window to yell to him to come inside. The door unlocked. He tried to kiss him in that other-world too, and when he pulled away, Poe’s eyes had been open and calm. His hand fell away from Finn’s arm and back to the mattress. The understanding of _I’ll come back_ and _I’ll be here when you do._

_I’ll think of you everyday._

_One day we’ll travel the galaxy and not have to worry._

_One day we’ll stay at home for weeks and weeks._

_I can wait._

“Have fun,” Poe had murmured into the pillow as he closed his eyes again.

There are some things he doesn’t need the Force to feel. Finn has a good feeling about this.

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> the white-knuckle fear i had when i realized i was about to hypnotize myself into writing an epilogue for like, every character. you can't get me like that, star wars, not for free


End file.
